THE STATE HAS DECIDED TO GO ON THE DIET Losing weight by eating more

FLORIAN GOLDSTEIN (Translated by Cosmin Ghidoveanu)
Ziarul BURSA #English Section / 26 august 2010

The authorities have repeatedly reassured us that the law of royalties does not matter

But really, why are you worried?! That you can"t file you royalties statements?

That you need to go in three separate places to submit three separate statements?

That you would need to wait in three separate lines?

That the authorities are confused about how the contributions you owe should be calculated?

That if you work in another country, you actually need to go to your hometown to file your statements?

That not one of the institutions of the state could find its way out of a paper bag, much less give you information?

Good for you!

I"m glad!

You tax dodgers!

Why don"t you pay up like all the honest folks!

What"s that?!

You"ve been paying so far?

No really, you journalists and artists have some nerve! You"re the lying thieving scum of the earth!

Creators?

More like creatures!

Calm down, I was just kidding.

My name is Şeitan, I am old and I am a serious man. I am the minister of labor. Come on guys, I was just joking!

No one is going to fine you.

It doesn"t matter that you are going to miss the deadline set by law. You have tomorrow and the after tomorrow and the entire next week and even more, If the mood strikes me.

Forget about 25th of the month - those norms were issued on a whim, for fools.

No one is going to fine you - here, I"ll let Vlădescu tell you.

My name is Vlădescu, I am a serious man, I"m not that old, but I am serious and competent.

I am the minister of Finance.

No one is going to fine you, this is a process, all these complicated things will be corrected.

My name is Şeitan and I am the minister of labor.

I told you.

Come on, stay home, why are you all cramming into the offices of the public institutions?!

I"m telling you no one is going to fine you.

Never mind that law, can"t you see that we can"t even enforce it?

Who"s gonna fine you?

I don"t have enough employees to receive all your statements, and you"re worried about being fined?!

Can"t you see we have no software?!

What is it with you that you all have to come in on the last days of the month?

So what if the guidelines for the implementation of the law were two weeks late?

What"s with all the hubbub?

Here, I"ll let Boc say something as well.

My name is Vlădescu and I am the minister of finance ...

Hey, let Boc speak!

My name is Boc and I am the prime-minister of Romania.

I am not old, but I am serious, meaning I don"t have any trace of humor, but I can fake it, although me being serious doesn"t mean much because my head is empty - I know how to reap grass and fill bags with sand when the floods come.

Anyway, my name is Boc.

What?

Royalties?

"No information on this issue reached my desk".

I"ll let Vlădescu and Şeitan tell you.

My name is Şeitan and the minister of Labor.

Carry on with your business.

Nothing"s gonna happen.

We"ll work it out ...

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