One Crisis, Three Prime Ministers, No Government

• Antonescu wants to overthrow Basescu"s Constitution through a minutes of meeting

By the time the presidential elections take place, we might have three Prime Ministers to one crisis, but no real Government: a dismissed, but still acting Prime Minister, a Prime Minister of the "transparent majority" and a Prime Minister designated by the President.

The first of them, the dismissed one, has half a Government.

The other two do not even have that much.

Rigorously speaking, there is no legal substance to the argument of the "transparent majority" that has been formed in Parliament, which Crin Antonescu and Mircea Geoana have repeatedly stated when describing the political support mustered for having Klaus Johannis designated for Prime Minister.

Such majority is not formally stipulated in any document.

It has not been registered as an alliance in court, nor has it been taken down in any minutes of a Parliament plenum meeting.

As a matter of fact, it can only be mentioned on television, but never in a complaint to the Constitutional Court.

This is the technicality that "Teacher" Basescu employed in order to designate Croitoru instead of Johannis.

This is why the refusal of the "transparent majority" to negotiate with Croitoru (who is somewhat at par with Johannis in terms of good image) is the demonstration of the "Teacher" that, in fact, "the majority" is not only incompetent, but irresponsible, too.

The "transparent majority" understood the lesson of the technicalities and announced a meeting of the two Chambers of Parliament this week, probably to have the parties and groups forming it to state their affiliation to a formal majority.

Such formal majority will have to wait for Croitoru"s ten-day deadline to pass, before it can try again to impose its favourite.

What other technicality will Traian Basescu come up with then?

Naturally, this may not be the best timing for lessons in political wizardry, as Romania could default in about a month, being unable to draw the loan from the European Commission (as the dismissed Government does not have the legal right to do so).

We are looking at one of the gravest threats ever to face the currently living generations.

Do we still have the strength to joke about it?

• The Very New School and The Teacher

"Teacher Basescu, you have political class to teach."

"Mrs. Secretary, I would very much prefer a mathematics class or a geography class."

"Why, does the political class disgust you?"

"No, madam, they disgusted Teacher Constantinescu, not me."

"What"s the problem then?"

"They disgust me, madam."

"Make up your mind! Yes or no? You have a class to teach!"

"You are not right, but I will make a transparent compromise. I"m going..."

(opening the door to the politics class)

"Hello, children!"

"Boo! boo!"

"Thank you. Let"s do the roll call. Boc Emil?"

"Aye!"

"But you skipped me. It"s me, Antonescu, Crin."

"You will speak when I get to the letter A, understood, boy?"

"This is dictatorship!"

"Call it what you will, but shut up and sit down."

"Oh, no, I will leave this class in protest."

"Do what you want, but, no matter what it is, I win. Look, Patriciu is ready to have you sit next to him again. What"s up, Patriciu? Have you fallen out with Tariceanu?"

"Don"t speak to me, Teacher. I"m not in the political class."

"Ok, make sure you drop by the Rahova Correctional Facility. Maybe you"ll shed another tear or two. Anyway, what are you doing here?"

"What, you never whined? I saw Vintu in the last row of seats and I came in..."

"Vintu? Vintu who?"

"That would be me, my dear Sir. Over here. Please count the rows. I"m sitting in the last of them."

"So which one is your desk? I"m counting, but I cannot tell."

"And you never will, because I got it via an off-shore setup."

"And why are you here?"

"My dear Sir, I own a television channel. I must entertain my viewers."

"In my classroom?"

"Definitely. I"m shooting "A Teacher Of The New School." The ratings will just kill the competition."

"Oh yes... you, the television owners... You and Voiculescu both..."

"Yes, Sir, Captain! Reporting for duty!"

"Go stand in the corner! Both of you! Face the wall!"

"But what did I do, Captain?"

"You sat at the head of the Grivco table. Geoana, please bring the teaching material from the closet. No, not Iliescu, you dimwit! I"m not teaching you about the skeletal system today. And stop making faces at me!"

"But that"s my natural face, Teacher. Please stop teaching me lessons..."

"Aren"t we cheeky today... I"ll pull your ears to the ceiling!"

"No, Teacher, anything, but the ears!"

"Elena Udrea?"

"At your disposal, Teacher."

"Ah... Isn"t she sweet...?!" Sorin Oprescu?"

"Aye!"

"Tariceanu, you are on the right side and I"ve just called to Oprescu, who is on the left side. Why are you standing up?"

"I thought you were looking at me, Sir. Next time, please point your finger."

"What a stiff! The opinion polls say your time"s up, ladies. Come on, take each other"s hand. That"s right, one with right hand and the next one with the left hand. Bela Marko, Frunda Gheorghe! (pauses) Mr. European Commissioner, please take note that they"re not here."

"But they are!"

"And why aren"t they answering?"

"Because you called to them in Romanian."

"I called out their names!"

"Hungarian names start with the family name."

"That"s what I did!"

"But in roll call, the order is reversed. Igen"

"Klaus Johannis! Is that better, Commissioner?"

"It doesn"t apply to Germans. And it"s spelt with a J, not with an I. It doesn"t matter what his ID says."

"Johannis, why didn"t you call me to tell me you wanted to be a Prime Minister?"

"Long distance calls are expensive, Teacher."

"I would have designated you, and told them to take a hike. But, since you didn"t call me, I had to designate Croitoru."

"Aye!"

"I wasn"t talking to you."

"Not even you, Sir?"

"Ok, ok... Have you done your homework, Croitoru?"

"Of course, but only in principle. I still have to seduce the parties."

"Don"t forget to use protection. Good boy! Alright children, today I"ll teach you about political communication. Like communicating with Croitoru, for instance."

"Boo! boo!"

"Ok... If you don"t want that, I"ll teach you something else... I"ll teach you a lesson you won"t forget. I"ll designate another Prime Minister."

"Boo! boo!"

"Alright. Consider yourself duly consulted on this matter."

"We"ll complain to the Chancellery. We have formed a transparent majority and you"re disregarding it. It"s unconstitutional!"

"Are you still here, Antonescu? Well Mireille Mathieu look-alike, you"d better start studying. A majority is not a bunch of words... Have you registered it in court? Have you taken it down in any plenary meeting? Off you go to the library! And you might want to get a haircut, too! Yes, you! Have it done just like Bogdan Olteanu"s. I"ll transfer you to the National Bank, maybe that will rid me of your sight.. Class dismissed! You"re hopeless. I"ll change the political class next year. Hey, you! Get out of my classroom! Who are you?"

"I"m the people of the country, as a collective character."

"You"re late!"

"You promised we"ll be standing face to face, eye to eye..."

"Yes, but not now. You"re interrupting. Anyway, class, let"s welcome our late guest. Come on, all the political class together at once!"

"Boo! Boo!"